fangirls, do your duty
Горячая вода щиплет холодные пальцы
и солнце красит небо в белый цвет.
Чем вы живете? Будущим? Прошлым или настоящим?
Я не спрашиваю о том, что правильно, я спрашиваю о действительности.
Как и я теряете ниточки между сейчас и тогда?
Наткнулся на два письма, которые ей писал.. улыбаюсь:
My baby, you know I thought a lot about you in the last few weeks. I'm so happy when I'm with you and there are so many things I wanna tell you. Normally I would say that writing a letter to someone is totally gay if you could just tell that person directly, but always if I try to tell you I don't know what to say and how to say it. I never ever want you to think that I'm such an asshole and I don't give a shit about the girls I sleep with. I got hurt a lot by girls before, you know my first love treated me like a piece of shit and I did fucking everything for her. And the girls after her did as well, I mean I didn't love all of them, but they still just fucking used me and that's it. Actually to be honest, I just had one really serious relationship before. Ok, maybe I was kissing with many girls on some parties when I was drunk, but the girls I actually slept with - I did care about them. Don't ask me why I always say I don't care about it at all and all this shit. Probably it's just because I want nothing what happened in the past to happen again, so I make people think that I don't care anyway so they don't even try to hurt me. I don't if this makes any sense at all. My problem is actually that if I really like someone I care too much and I would do everything for that person. You know I just tell this to girls that are really important to me and who I trust, because since everything that happened I don't trust anymore except my closest friends and that's it. In the beginning when we fucked the first time I was quite worried that all of this shouldn't have happened. I didn't know at all what I felt for you after that. First I thought it will be just normal, we are just good friends, that's it. But then the last two weeks of christmas holidays I started to think about you more and more and I actually kinda missed you. And then the day I came back I was totally fucked up because I didn't sleep the whole fucking night and then I saw you at the station and seriously, no jokes, I just thought wow..you looked so fucking damn good. I thought so much what's going to happen and I was so scared that I don't want you and I just don't wanna hurt you so that's why I'm staying close to you. But believe me, that's just retarded stupid bullshit that came out of my retarded stupid bullshit brain and I realized soon that this is definitely not the case. You are so important to me and I couldn't possibly imagine anyone who I would prefer to be with than you. If I could date the hottest girl ever and go on fucking amazing parties or just chill at your place with pizza and green tea, I would always chose you. You know, I could go out with Byn, Regina and all of them every weekend, but I don't because if I go out I want you to be with me and if your mum wont let you go, she should by now get used to the thought of me being at your place every weekend. I love to be there, I love to spend time with you, I just wanna be with you every free minute I have. In my list of prettiest girls you would be definitely my number one. I'm really happy to have you and I know I can be really annoying sometimes, but you can shut me up whenever you want. You are my vanilla baby dragon and I'm your chocolate baby fufii and I want it to be like this for a very long long time. Now that you had to wait since September for all of this to happen, because I didn't realize that the girl I always wanted was right here all the time, you wont get rid of me that easily anymore. If I now think back about what happened over the last few months, I'm really happy about everything. I know this might sound really strange, but if I think about it now, I'm even happy about what happened with Jara, because maybe if all of this wouldn't have happened maybe we wouldn't have become that close. You can't imagine how happy I am right now, I like you so much.. I don't care about how much drama you make and how retarded you sometime act, because I like everything about you. And I mean everything! Vanilla baby dragon I just want YOU! that's all I have to say... Matt.
***
You can't imagine how I felt when I read this. I couldn't wait to read it so I went online before my classes even tough I was 15 min late already. I want the evening to come I wanna be with you NOW I wanna hold you. I'm so damn happy that you take me how I am, because I know how stupid I can be sometimes. I say things I don't mean to say I do things I don't mean to do (I'm not talking about cheating I mean just little tiny things that might hurt another person). I just want you to know I would never ever want to hurt you or do anything bad to you, how could I, nobody would hurt his own baby)) I wanna spend the halfterm with you so much I wanna take you with me back home and show you everything. I want you to meet my friends, I want you to come with me on concerts, drinking beer in our bars, I want you to never have to feel again that you can't be who you are.... I want you to be with me back home, because I know I'll miss you so much even tough it's just 4 days. Always when you're not with me I don't feel complete.. And the reason I wanted you to come to college wasn't because there is no one else or you hv to proove sth to me, it was just because I want YOU to be there I don't care about other people around me. Everytime I look at you I see a beautiful girl, I see someone who's strong and doesn't realise what power she actually has, I see that this girl is the one, I see that I could tell her anything and I see that I need her whereever I go and whatever I do.. and I hope that she wants me the way I want her
и солнце красит небо в белый цвет.
Чем вы живете? Будущим? Прошлым или настоящим?
Я не спрашиваю о том, что правильно, я спрашиваю о действительности.
Как и я теряете ниточки между сейчас и тогда?
Наткнулся на два письма, которые ей писал.. улыбаюсь:
My baby, you know I thought a lot about you in the last few weeks. I'm so happy when I'm with you and there are so many things I wanna tell you. Normally I would say that writing a letter to someone is totally gay if you could just tell that person directly, but always if I try to tell you I don't know what to say and how to say it. I never ever want you to think that I'm such an asshole and I don't give a shit about the girls I sleep with. I got hurt a lot by girls before, you know my first love treated me like a piece of shit and I did fucking everything for her. And the girls after her did as well, I mean I didn't love all of them, but they still just fucking used me and that's it. Actually to be honest, I just had one really serious relationship before. Ok, maybe I was kissing with many girls on some parties when I was drunk, but the girls I actually slept with - I did care about them. Don't ask me why I always say I don't care about it at all and all this shit. Probably it's just because I want nothing what happened in the past to happen again, so I make people think that I don't care anyway so they don't even try to hurt me. I don't if this makes any sense at all. My problem is actually that if I really like someone I care too much and I would do everything for that person. You know I just tell this to girls that are really important to me and who I trust, because since everything that happened I don't trust anymore except my closest friends and that's it. In the beginning when we fucked the first time I was quite worried that all of this shouldn't have happened. I didn't know at all what I felt for you after that. First I thought it will be just normal, we are just good friends, that's it. But then the last two weeks of christmas holidays I started to think about you more and more and I actually kinda missed you. And then the day I came back I was totally fucked up because I didn't sleep the whole fucking night and then I saw you at the station and seriously, no jokes, I just thought wow..you looked so fucking damn good. I thought so much what's going to happen and I was so scared that I don't want you and I just don't wanna hurt you so that's why I'm staying close to you. But believe me, that's just retarded stupid bullshit that came out of my retarded stupid bullshit brain and I realized soon that this is definitely not the case. You are so important to me and I couldn't possibly imagine anyone who I would prefer to be with than you. If I could date the hottest girl ever and go on fucking amazing parties or just chill at your place with pizza and green tea, I would always chose you. You know, I could go out with Byn, Regina and all of them every weekend, but I don't because if I go out I want you to be with me and if your mum wont let you go, she should by now get used to the thought of me being at your place every weekend. I love to be there, I love to spend time with you, I just wanna be with you every free minute I have. In my list of prettiest girls you would be definitely my number one. I'm really happy to have you and I know I can be really annoying sometimes, but you can shut me up whenever you want. You are my vanilla baby dragon and I'm your chocolate baby fufii and I want it to be like this for a very long long time. Now that you had to wait since September for all of this to happen, because I didn't realize that the girl I always wanted was right here all the time, you wont get rid of me that easily anymore. If I now think back about what happened over the last few months, I'm really happy about everything. I know this might sound really strange, but if I think about it now, I'm even happy about what happened with Jara, because maybe if all of this wouldn't have happened maybe we wouldn't have become that close. You can't imagine how happy I am right now, I like you so much.. I don't care about how much drama you make and how retarded you sometime act, because I like everything about you. And I mean everything! Vanilla baby dragon I just want YOU! that's all I have to say... Matt.
***
You can't imagine how I felt when I read this. I couldn't wait to read it so I went online before my classes even tough I was 15 min late already. I want the evening to come I wanna be with you NOW I wanna hold you. I'm so damn happy that you take me how I am, because I know how stupid I can be sometimes. I say things I don't mean to say I do things I don't mean to do (I'm not talking about cheating I mean just little tiny things that might hurt another person). I just want you to know I would never ever want to hurt you or do anything bad to you, how could I, nobody would hurt his own baby)) I wanna spend the halfterm with you so much I wanna take you with me back home and show you everything. I want you to meet my friends, I want you to come with me on concerts, drinking beer in our bars, I want you to never have to feel again that you can't be who you are.... I want you to be with me back home, because I know I'll miss you so much even tough it's just 4 days. Always when you're not with me I don't feel complete.. And the reason I wanted you to come to college wasn't because there is no one else or you hv to proove sth to me, it was just because I want YOU to be there I don't care about other people around me. Everytime I look at you I see a beautiful girl, I see someone who's strong and doesn't realise what power she actually has, I see that this girl is the one, I see that I could tell her anything and I see that I need her whereever I go and whatever I do.. and I hope that she wants me the way I want her