вот и всё.
fangirls, do your duty
You claim to know what depression is. You don’t know shit. You don’t even know how it smells like – and it smells like shit. It smells like dirty sweaty bed sheets because you stay in bed for a month with no will to even take a shower whatsoever. You tear yourself up in those smelly bed sheets wide open. Constantly wondering. Where did I go wrong? When did it all start to come crumbling down? How did it happen? How could I let this happen? How did I not see in time? Take action? Bullshit. What could you have done? What can you really do about someone else’s feelings? Nothing. You always sit and you always end up waiting, wondering and hoping. That they notice you. That they like you. That you make the connection. That they love you back. That they wont leave. That the love stays. Well I got news for you, dumbass. They might notice you, talk to you, you might share a connection, they may even love you. But you’re lucky if it lasts for a year. Because it never lasts. It just doesn’t and that’s how it works. So stop waving stats in my face that there is a 4.6666 per cent chance that it lasts. You’re clever enough to know the statistics, which means you’re clever enough to know that there is a 99.9% chance you don’t beat the odds. And you can take your goddamn law suit and shove it up your pretty little perfect arse – because no one is going into that room with you. It’s gonna be you. Just you. Alone. You may take your pick of companions – Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker, Kent or Marlboro – whatever it takes to calm yourself down. But lemme tell you something. You down your drink. You finish your cigarette. And it’s still you versus you. The world is still growing apart under your feet and if you don’t do shit, you’re gonna end up in that big black hole in your chest. So jump to either side. There’ll be people on both. Friends. Family. Career. Arch enemies. But it’s 11:13pm and at the end of the day you’re in that unnecessarily expensice empty flat, Johnny or Jack temporarily by your side and it is still you versus you. It’s always going to be that way.

So I guess my real question is this.
Do we learn our lesson and never trust anyone again?
Or do we somehow manage to keep faith?
Because from where I’m standing – the whole world feels like the enemy.